Life is a maze

Thursday, December 29, 2005

♥ Christmas Joy

christmas has finally arrived.
somehow this yr's christmas aint such a good one for me.
with this, i meant christmas day itself.

there was jus a serious lack of the christmasy feel.
i'm in doubt.
maybe it's just cos ppl take christmas for granted alr.
they dont use this special time to bond and get together with family.
instead, they prefer to spend it with their friends.
it's not wrong wanting to spend some of this lovely time with ya friends.
but these ppl just... neglected their family?

well, i just hope that ppl wont forget what this special day is for.
and ultimately, ya family is the most impt.
nth beats it.

hmms, my days has been pretty fine.
in 7th heaven in fact? hahas

well, ending here today.
writer's block. ):

*downpour.

` YOUandME

unraveled @ 2:31 AM

Sunday, December 25, 2005

♥ Christmas. the day to REJOICE!

*roxy. isaac's precious.

HAPPY CHRISTMAS!!!

it's finally here!
well, i cant wait for all da fun that will
commence later in the day!
hmms. i've receieved some christmas presents alr!
fact is. i LOVE presents!!!
who doesnt? right? hahas.

*picture of my favourite bear. metoyou.

service was great today!
the performance put up by the dance
and drama ministry was superb.
tho i dint really get the chinese part.
hahas.
but nonetheless, it was awesome.

the atmosphere in the air
is getting lighter as christmas was drawing nearer just now.
the weather has changed and even as i am home,
i'm like wearing this gigantic sweater. lols.

anyways, i guess i've gotta hit the hay already.
falling sick and i tink my eyes cant hold it any longer alr.

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS!
a festive to LOVE.
the birth of Christ.

~~presents presents presents (:~~

*metoyou bear from ~~`him~~ (:

*necklace from taka jewellery from tian seng.

~~` LOST and FOUND~~

unraveled @ 3:14 AM

Friday, December 23, 2005

♥ Piecing it Back

` ETERNITY

He who binds himself to a joy
Does the winged life destroy
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity's sunrise.

- William Blake-

does it make much sense?
well, i thot it's pretty nice.
so i jus thought of sharing it.it's in the poetry book i
jus borrowed from the library today.
*pretty weird. gwen--->poetry book? aint it?
***

well, we're kinda okay now?
i guess it's better to bury the hatchet?
i suppose estee'd agree with that too.
so yeah, i guess it's pretty much more on piecing back this
fragments of our friendship.building everything up again.
but it aint that easy to trust.
it still stands. never trusting you fully again.
you brought it upon yaself.
now you have to face the music.
you have to earn our trust and this friendship back
by installments.
as said by pastor Kong.

- promises broken
arguments surfaced
these has gone past
it was just rainy days. -

sincerely hoped you've mended ya ways.
i cant stand another conflict like these next yr.
it's our O's. nth like this should happen.
i seriously needa concentrate on my studies.
see where not studyin' has gotten me to?
but well, i'm happy to be in e4! (:

` Friendship is FOREVER

- when our eyes meet, i know that you're the one
someone i can depend on, for friendship and some fun.
you keep me company, in both good and bad times.
promise me endless care, come rain or shine.
nothing can replace your voice in my mind,
forever best of friends, warm, caring and kind. -

quoted

do not ~~freakin' screw up~~ this friendship anymore.
hard to form. hard to piece back.

` TRIO

unraveled @ 1:34 AM

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

♥ TOTAL BETRAYAL

Crushed.
is my beautiful, initial thoughts of how friendships are.
you spoilt it. totally ruined it.
have you ever thought that your foolish actions
has caused pain and hurt to both estee and me mentally?
maybe it doesnt seem so.
but i can tell you, how upset i was....
when i heard it from an "outsider", rather than you?

any idea what a shock it was?!
you have absolutely no fuckin' idea.
(i must be pretty upset and angry.
nth would have gotten me to use that word "fuck" again. nothing.)

friendship. to me, it's sth very amazing.
beautiful, promising and enjoyable.
well, congrats. you've made it evolved into sth that's,
scarey, threathening and full of thorns.
just why?
there were really things bout you that i alr dint quite like.
but i thought, "hey! everyone has their weaknesses."
however, it has became a nuisance.

why izit that you like to follow things that i do?
why did you took and bought that white skirt without even
tryin' it on after i've decided not to get it?
why did you buy that exact same Von Dutch white skirt
my mum got me after i told you bout it?
(i honestly dint know what gave my mum the idea to)
can you explain why you wanted to ACJC too after estee, yee wen and i
wanted to go there at that time? when you actually wanted to get into
TP cause ya brother, fauzi and nadia wanted to go there?
-the list goes on, but i guess you readers get the jist of it.-

i may seem a lil' ego here. but it's what happened.

cant you have a thinkin' of ya own for once?
things are bad enough that you "follow"
resisting to use the word "copy"
you make it seem as tho you're OH-SO
ORIGINAL
so not.
in council, you try to take on big things.
so that you could get all the credit and let teachers know that u're "capable"
but what does it end up with?
you screw up. screwed up everything.
rmb that particular meet-the-parents session?
i got screamed at by danapal for no rhyme or reason at all.
and you're werent even there to clear up all the shit you've created.
where were you?! some stupid appointment or sth.
what a joke. the planner-cum-overall in-charge wasnt present.
in the end who cleared up all the shit?
isaac, nadia and gwen.
even nadia was mad. yes, nadia. very mad in fact. mind you.
and right after that shit you created, you volunteered for another big thing.
one advice: " dont put on a hat that's too big for ya head."
you get it?

tell me. why izit you wanna create another problem?
and it has alr happened once.
ever heard of "once bitten, twice shy."?
i suppose not.
you've betrayed cailing once alr.
i tink it was bad enough.
but no, it wasnt enough for you.
you had to do it twice?!
now, you've not only betrayed her, but estee and me as well.
you dun even have the cheek to tell us.
and when we confronted you, you jus told us that you
thought it was plain stupidity. that's why you dint tell us.
like, what the f***. what kinda lame excuse is that?
have you got no fucking brains at all that things like this spread?!
i guess you dont.

think, if estee and i dint know.
when school reopens, it'll eventually get to us.
dun you think we'd be too upset and angry that
by that time we wouldnt stand by you if ppl go against you?
whereas, if you have told us. confided in us.
we'd definitely stand by you. tho we know you're in the wrong,
we'd still encourage you and comfort you when you're down.
what are frens for man!? dammit.

you know what my ~~dear friend~~?
i can never trust you again.
i repeat, never.
yes, we may still be frens. estee and i dun wana break our friendship jus like that.
cause unlike you, we treasure our ties.
true, we may still be best friends, close friends, whatever it is.
however, my word stands, i can never trust, or perhaps, fully trust
you ever again.

breaking big promises sure aint a thing you should ever do to ya friends.
or in fact, to anyone. the last thing you should ever do.
pls. really, get a mind of ya own.
think and have ya own style, whatever it is.
stop imitating. you may think you dont.
but hell you do.

i dont deny that i aint angry over what has happened.
but like estee, i still wanna keep the friendship going.
i guess, at least for now.

our friendship's a blur.
incidents that has happened. made me think,
hey! can our friendship carry on? could it last?
i wish it will... i treasure each and every of my friends.
do you?

i really hope you'd change. for the better.
true, other's impressions of you might not be good even if you change.
but as long as you did and you have friend's support.
it's enough.
to jus simply know that you have friends you could depend on.
do you know what a stranger you've became to estee and me after the hols started?
we dont even know what's going on in ya life.
like with that job you got at sentosa?
i needed to know it by chance thru nadia.
and since when you could speak tongues?
i dunno anything bout these, neither does estee.
i dun mean that you must report all the daily meticulous
stuff to us. but you should know.
even things like me getting another earhole pierced i went to you and estee
and went like "hey! i've gotten my 5th earhole!!!"
you see, all these makes a diff.
it keeps the friendship going.
having a boyfriend was a big enough thing but yet
you dint breathe a word.
who have you became to man!?
i dont even recognise you any longer?!
doesnt mean you cant change.
wanna change, go ahead! but change for the better!
tell me, were you even sincere?
when you made those apologies?
why dont we feel it?

you know you shouldnt be spending so much.
but what's with spending like 30plus over in a day?
ever heard of saving?! hello?
even i save. estee too.

well, i really dunno what else to say now.
i've pretty much pour my heart out. and pls, take down that mask u're wearing.
it's all getting too fake.
we all know you too well already.
you try to act oh-so sweet and nice infront of everyone.
it's annoying.
i may have offended you. but i'm speaking the truth.

well, that's all for today.

friendship are forever aye?

-friendship like flowers, blooms ever more fair.
when tended by dear friends who care.-

~~` SEARCH YOUR CONSCIENCE~~

unraveled @ 10:57 PM

Friday, December 16, 2005

♥

weeee!!! christmas is jus 9 days away!
omg. that's fast. jeez.
i still hadnt done any homework.
shucks.

well, been having alot of fun lately.
jus ytd, i went for a movie with my cousin, mallory and kenny.
hahas. we watched SAW ll.
and i got so grossed out that i threw most of my brunch away.
yucks. it's disgusting....
all in all, it's not a very good show.
but if you're in for gory stuff that day, then i'd say go ahead.
i was hiding under my jacket and mal was like covering her ears.
hahas. yeah it was fun lars.

later on, we had a par.
with playing pool.
thanks goodness we had kenny, who's 17.
thus he's "legal". lols.
my skills has dropped alr. or maybe ladyluck jus wasnt on my side ytd.
i dint play for a long time alr man.
but well, i managed to stop kenny from winning,
by blocking the pocket, refusing to let in the black ball.
and yay! i beat mallory. hehes.

* taken while playin' pool. had jacket on to prevent from ~~EXPOSING~~.
hahas. =P

* while on the way home with june...

yeaps. dint take much pics ytd.

oh ya! after dinner we went to taka.

oh man! it was hell loadsa madness there man.

~~with all the kiddy toys.~~

* my STRAWBERRY ICECREAM SODA.

was down at seoul garden on wednesday.

i was bloated.

yeah, basically meant that i took in alot of ~~calories~~ that day.

*sobs* sigh.....

* that rockmelon was somewhat tasty. (:

* we LOVE icecream!!!

okie dokes. i think that's bout all.

i needa get down to mallory's house to make sheppard's pie

*yums! i could taste it alr.

tonight's pot luck cum christmas cell grp meeting.

FOOD FOOD FOOD!

PRESENTS PRESENTS PRESENTS!

hahas. getting hyper a lil' too early.

gonna be home late today man. cell's like faraway at Jurong...

(okay i dunno why this blogger thingy is leaving an extra line for me.)

hmms, cya tonight den...

~~*pray that i won't get harmed while making my way home tonight. hahas*~~

~~` flowers blooming again~~

unraveled @ 1:32 PM

Sunday, December 11, 2005

♥

peek-a-PIC!
lols. sorry, in the lame-oh mode today.
anyways, service was great today!
had lotsa fun with cell group (:

*ME and cousin. while walking home...

* ain't that my bag? but that ain't my body?

* my eyes look weird. eyeliner i guess?

* FACEless. ` MYmisery.

* something's descending from the sky!!!

~~` LOST~~

unraveled @ 4:00 AM

Saturday, December 10, 2005

♥

wee! wow! woo! waa!

okay. that was ~~DUMB~~.

well, yeah i was fiddling with my eyeliner just yet.
not really much of a difference aye?
dint really put on that much just now.

hmms... well, having church service tmr.
and i'm like still up.
oh wait, more like later...
anyways, i composed this poem yesterday.
i dun reckon it makes much sense or that it's a good one.
i'll just post it anyways. here it goes...

`My Misery

Just when i thought i had you
Another girl comes in and cut the queue
i saw the smirk on her face
i knew she was gonna take my place

Hoping you wouldn't desert me
Thinkin' that you wouldn't lee
But soon i saw your shadow leaving
i was left alone snivelling

Was i not good enough
Why is life so tough
I keep fallin' again and again
There's just too much sorrow, too much pain

09 december 2005
gwencopyrighted

yeah, that's it.
pretty corny aint it?
lols. just felt like writing when i woke up today.

yeah man. went to town ytd with my cousin and mal.
~~splurged all my savings~~ on clothes, shoes and a bag again.
it made me happy at least.
but when i look into my wallet now...
it's so depressing...
lols. aye, i'll just have ta start ~~saving again~~ den...

hmms, i bumped into sia jun jie kenny ytd.
had a feeling i was gonna see him...
and then WHAMP! he appeared right in front of me amongst the crowd.

freaky aye? sixth sense?

still aint used to my short hair yet man.
like, i just realised quite a lot of it was cut off.
hahas.

~~things don't seem to be workin' in "play" mode~~

unraveled @ 1:57 AM

Friday, December 09, 2005

♥

hey heys!

well i jus had a haircut.
and this is how i look now.
~~horrible~~ aye?

~~i want you by my side~~

unraveled @ 2:56 AM

Sunday, December 04, 2005

♥

well, that's quite alot of pictures i've uploaded today...
there's suppose to be more, but... i dunno, it dint come out.
hahas. tmr i guess.

hmms, today, i mean yesterday, has been a great service.
hilarious aye?

well, i think i'd better go off to bed soon,
or my mum will start nagging.
sheesh. look at the time. 4.58am.
time flies.
well, before i go, i'd like to share this song.
it's very meaningful to me...

` The Heart of Worship

When the music fades,
all is stripped away,
and i simply come;
longing just to bring something
that's of worth that will bless Your heart.

I'll bring You more than a song,
for a song in itself
is not what You'll have required.
You searched much deeper within
through the ways things appear;
You're looking into my heart.

i'm coming back to the heart of worship,
and it's all about You, all about You, Jesus.
I'm sorry, Lord, for the thing i've made it,
when it's all about You, all abot You, Jesus.

King of endless worth, no one could express
how much You deserve.
Though i'm weak and poor,
all i have is Yours,
ev'ry single breath.

I LOVE YOU LORD

unraveled @ 4:55 AM

♥

and yet more to come...

*well, we felt guilty after taking this picture. cause the cleaner to wipe the glass again.
with all the faces smacking right on the glass... (:

*somewhere in jurong west...

*we held up the lift =P

*over-aged kiddos
*honestly, what's this formation? do-re-mi-fa-so?

unraveled @ 3:59 AM

♥

here are some more pics that we took... (:

* maddos at the cafe (:

*darren's testing whether he sizzles? ;P

* jin cheng looks scary! (topmost guy)

* shing shing and DA christmas tree...

* erm... the damsel in distress and uhh... the knights in "shining" armour?

unraveled @ 3:15 AM

♥

` ALOHA!
wee! WOW! i just returned home from church.
what more can i say?
well! it's great to back in church. (:
*praise the Lord*
anyways, today was our last service over at City Harvest @ jurong west.
next week it's down down down to S'pore Expo man!

yeah man!
well, we took some pics on our last night...

*W260... Darren just got water baptised. (:

* the SISTAS!!! pretty "girls". awww~

*SHOOT HIM!!!

we're a bunch of hyper, over-aged kiddos man!

unraveled @ 1:56 AM

Friday, December 02, 2005

♥

TEN FIRSTS:
First Best Friend(s): goh you eldora
First Screen Name: i cant recall...
First Pet: 2 stupid goldfish.
First Piercing: my first pair of earholes.
First School: paya lebar medthodist kindergarten
First CD: cant recall either...
First Car: mercedes benz
First Stuffed Animal: too many (:
First Hp: nokia
First Crush: this ang moh in my k1 class, donavan

NINE LASTS
Last Alchoholic Beverage: Burbon Coke
Last Car Ride: while in the taxi home...
Last Movie Seen: Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire!!!
Last Phone Call: cell grp member, xueying
Last Song Played: screamer by Good Charlotte
Last Bubble Bath: er... few yrs back at my old apartment.
Last Time You Cried: last night when i yawned too much
Last Online: this early morning at 5am.
Last Meal: 5 hours 46minutes ago.

EIGHT HAVE YOU EVERS
1. Have you ever dated one of your best friends: nope.
2. Have you ever been arrested: nope. (: *good girl*
3. Have you ever skinny dipped: nah...
4. Have you ever been on TV: yeah (:
5. Have you ever kissed someone and then regretted it: i don't think so.
6. Have you ever cheated: yeah, mostly chinese spelling. can't be bother. chinese.
7. Have you ever spent more than 5 hours online: hell yeah!
8. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep: quite a number of times... ):

SEVEN THINGS YOU'RE WEARING
1. shirt from new zealand
2. FBT shorts
3. lime green hairband
4. 2 earsticks
5. 2 studs
6. 1 star star earring
7. black nailpolish

SIX THINGS YOU'VE DONE TODAY
1. slept til 5 plus in the evening
2. watched tv
3. used house phone
4. open house gate
5. listened to my music (everyday thing)
6. dreamt that i had a daughter

FIVE FAVORITE THINGS
1. DOGS!!!
2. the computer + internet
3. music
4. acting
5. going crazy

FOUR PEOPLE YOU CAN TELL [ALMOST] ANYTHING TO
1. kristle
2. isaac
3. estee
4. mallory

THREE CHOICES
1. Black or White: both?
2. Hot or Cold: cold!!!
3. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate bars!!!

TWO THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. enjoy my remaining time to the fullest
2. ride on an extremely exciting rollar coaster!

ONE THING YOU REGRET
1. not studying and paying attention in sec2 and 3... =x

well, nth much happened today, so i decided to blog this. (:
that's all for today ya folks.
till then, Goodnight (:

~~i need someone~~

unraveled @ 12:19 AM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

♥

okay.
i'm receiving complaints that i aint updating my blog.
lols. which i shall gladly do now...

hmms. just came back from badminton camp ytd.
pretty much all shacked out from it...

the program goes like this:

8.00am- sec3(us) seniors report in sch to discuss stuff.
8.30am- sec3s briefed the juniors
9.00am-10.30- ice breakers
10.30-10.40 water break
10.40-12.30- team building activities
12.30-1.20- lunh out at hougang pt.
2.oopm- pratice service (badminton training)
2.30- start of warm-up + running
2.55- footwork 6 sets of 12 pts footwork in all.
3.05-training with coach [smashing, lobbing, drive, tap]
6.30- training ends... wash up
6.30-9.00-dinner + activities.
9.00-10.35- Beep tests
10.35-11.30- nite activity
11.30-12-bathe...

that's basically one whole day of endless tiring games
and tidious training...

and after one tiring day, i dint go to bed. lols.
estee and i went for night adventure with some Ncc guys.
lols.
gerald, jinqin, ivan, zaki and eugene tan.
hahas.

we went to da "famous" d&t blk of bowen.
lols. it was damn funny man.
it has it's thrills lars.
we dint see anything, dun worry.
hahas.
well, there was parts where da guys were "protecting" da girls.
but there was a girl "protecting" a GUY too.

it was pitch dark mind you.

wee!!! let's walk again aye, gerald?
hehe...
went to sleeping bag rnd 2plus in da morning that day...

next morning, was so happy that it was raining at 6.30am.
thought it saved my life.
wont be able to go for morning run with droplets of rain u see...
BUT BUT BUT, da rain had to stop....... ):

morning run to serangoon stadium from bowen sec
terrible.... make me run early in da morn...
we're having muscle aches from training on da previous day!!!

yepps okay. to serangoon stadium, den had to
jog 3 rounds of da track and finally jog/run back to sch...

went ex-co meeting after breakfast...
came back at 11plus for lunch at hougang pt..
back to sch...

TRAINING again!!!
all the way to 4plus.
and the ~~pretty pretty~~ finale....

physical.
2sets of:
- 20 push-ups (must do push-ups together as 1)
- 30 freaking seconds of some hand withstanding stuff.
- 1 minute of half squart by the wall.
- once end of one minute of half squart, sprint to 1st court touch da line,
sprint back touch line, sprint to 2nd court touch line, sprint back touch line...
all the way to the 4th court.......

yepps.. that's a set.........

and finally fanally.. after waiting for so long...
came the debrief and BREAK CAMP!!!

*phew* i could at last take a breather.....
weeee!!!.........

well, u all must be expecting that i went home and slept like a PIG
and dint get up til late afternoon today aye?

hell NOooo...

i slept 1plus ytd nite, or rather this morning...
woke up at 7plus to accompany my ~~beloved~~
isaac brudda for his medical review...

-_-"

and yeah... now. i'm stuck onto the chair, blogging.
shacked out man.

i got a big scare jus now man.
i rembered that i had training tmr!!!
*just too tired*
i panicked and was trying to "grab hold" of estee...
in the end... training's on friday. i totally FREAKED myself out for nth.
hahas. weee.
yeah, talk about being blur... lols.

all in all, i enjoyed camp.
it was great.
it was totally just ran by us, sec3 seniors only.
(: *sticks out chest* oops*

anyways, there's ppl bugging me to chat on msn now.
lols. so yeah. that's bout alll for today.

take care and ciaos.

~~still lookin'...~~

unraveled @ 12:17 AM