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love is a riddle.
untold story

G; Lips that taste of tears,
they say, are the best for kissing.


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credits

orangeeeeyy Missyan

eXTReMe Tracker
Thursday, August 30, 2007

♥ MELANCHOLY;




all of a sudden, things just changed. one minute i was
happily laughing away while chatting online with
my buddies, yet the next, i was slapped into a sea
of great tidal emotions.

small monkey is an acquaintance of mine. i knew him at
MI. we spoke once, and perhaps only that once. he was
a typical english speaking ah-beng joker, bringing
laughter everywhere he went.
today, i received news that he had passed away. i doubt
you'd ever imagine the impact it had on me. true, he's
just an acquaintance, i'm not even close to him. but the
fact is, he was after all, a friend. the last people, close
to home who died were my grandma & kristle's grandpa.
i never had a friend passing away. i dint know how to
react. i think it took awhile for it to seep in, then it
finally snapped. i cried and i wouldnt stop. it hurts to
know of this, that he jumped off. due to depression.
i wished i was able to help but what use it is now?

that plunged me into a daze. i feel empty, lonely, sad
and even scared. of what? i dont know either. and things
dont seem to get better. it's been one hell of a night.
one bad news after another, insensitive ppl, loads of
crying. dont blame anyone, cause they probably dint
know of what i am going through tonight.
this must be another one of my worst nights so far.
just so suddenly, unhappy stuff seems to be revolving
all around me. what is happening, can someone tell me?

i feel even closer to God now. with all these things
happening. without God being my pillar of strength,
i would have well crumbled long ago. i'm learning to
really depend on Him, and leave my worries unto Him.
i wish Jesus was here to explain, i wish i could run into
His arms to cry. i wish everything would be alright.
my only reassurance now is God and Jesus. and i
pine for my Lord more than all else. i want His
comfort, i want to seek refuge in Him. life is so so
fragile. i will learn to cherish all that i have now even
more. God of my forever and forever i'm with You.

"thus the youth needs to know the gospel."
that's what matthew told me just now. and i couldnt
agree more to it now. i feel guilty for not reaching
out to evangelise, to be a blessing. but now, i know.
i am energized to do my part, to serve my Lord.

Daddy God, i love you more than anything else.

God above, You hold my world
i see in You, a life unfold
Your grace that shines this path of mine
with You i walk; my friend and guide
oh, what can i do to seal this union i have with You?

You, You are the God who will save
cling onto all that You say
and for always
You, covered my life with Your grace
darkness You've turned into day
when You gave Your all away


unraveled @ 12:53 AM


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

♥ MY GOD LIVES;


a couple of pictures from fireworks festival...





so, thankfully the most tedious day of the week's
over. hooray! ((: well, today wasnt such a bad day
cause it was rainy & i loved the weather. there,
you guys should know that gwen cant take heat.
i'd get frustrated & if it gets really bad, or if i'm
grouchy, i'd start whining & even crying. uh-huh,
there. now you see the spoilt side of me?

had math test, which i so know am gonna flunk.
cause i dint study for it, due to unforeseen circumstances.
haha. i'm sorry, it's not everyday that my eyecandy
comes online alright? & i just couldnt resist the urge
to chat -grins.
& so, insufficient sleep. bad bad eyes today. gees.
had better sleep earlier tonight. i hope!
things went pretty okay today. econs lecture was
for once... a joy today. reason being, it was a revision,
meaning i'd get to revise. secondly, the main reason,
LECTURER WASNT THAT DARN HOD!
you know how much of a joy that is? :D
ahhh, the only sad thing for the day was having a
ball in my face. pfft. during pe. not only did it
hit full force on my nose (OUCH), it also kissed my
lips. what topped my cupcake (learnt from mal)
with icing on it, was the ball being covered with
water, from the ground. yes, thank you.
must have been pretty unlucky. pfft.

oh well, i went to lauren's, classmate of mal,
house for dinner today (: the prawn noodle by
her maid was ohmygawdwhatthepiang awesome!
mmm, home-cooked food. yummy (: i like.
saw her dolls, they were beautiful. wished i had
more interest in this kinda stuff. haha.

mal bloopers of the day...

me: aye, what bus are you taking home from
bowen's bus stop?

mal: eh, 109 lor. hmms, you can take 70, 156...
from there lor. but you must cross road luh.

me: hello? i can just take 315 without crossing
also what.

mal: *ponders for quite awhile...* yah hor.

me: oi! & excuse me, like i've never been to bowen
bus stop like that. aye, i still come to this bus
stop every morning to swap to take 854 can.
-.- i've probably set foot on this bus stop more than
you've ever had.

mal: eh-hehe. *pai seh look*

haha, mal ah mal -.-
& my bestie's like super auntie can. oh gees, she
goes like: "888! oooh, FA-FA-FA!" wth.
& many many more auntieness. tsk tsk.
now she's like CAPTAIN AUNTIE MAL? :D

i smiled to myself & remembered that my Father
in heaven is always watching over me today.
you know, it was like raining the entire day yeah?
but, throughout the journey home, there were only
drizzles. the best part was, the rain suddenly
intensified only after i've reached my lift lobby.
hah, you'd say i'm lucky. i'd say it's God.
there are many lil' things everyday, that my daddy
God does for me. i am a child of God & i wont
deny it ((: i am blessed.
Jesus, without You, i'd never have been reunited
with daddy God. thank You.
Jesus, i want more of You and less of me.

i love because You first loved me.
i give because of what You gave.
You died, showed me how to live.
Your mercy taught me to forgive.

You came and poured Yourself so free.
Your blood washed away my shame.
and now, i can live again.
i'm more of You and less of me.


unraveled @ 10:37 PM


Saturday, August 25, 2007

♥ MY GREATEST HONOUR;




hohoho, & so gwen came down with a sinus
infection. wth is that, right? well, according to
mister nice doctor, dr. wong, it's due to my
flu & cough not being fully cleared, thus, led to
an infection. hah! no wonder i was still having
my flu voice although all the symptoms were
gone already. so yeah, how did i know then, if
all symptoms had subsided already yeah?
you see, i was trying to get some shut eye
during math class on wednesday, so i was like
facing the table. next thing i knew, there were
like yellow coloured watery mucus coming
outta the right side of my nose. got worried,
notified daddy & *poof* went to the doctor's ((:

hokay, am sooo exhausted this week. especially
with the flu tablets dr wong prescribed. drowsy.
again. bahhh, i need loads of rest man.
heaps of work, tons of tests... oh gosh.

lil' happy pill of the day;

- while mal & i were walking towards the bus
stop at expo after dinner with cell group. -

me: *looking at orange sky*
it's gonna rain man!

mal: *shocked look*
oh no! i hope mum's in to...
*quickly realises sth*
RAWRRRRRRRRR!!!

me: *laughs at mal*
aye, you aunty luh!

mal: *shocked look again*
shit! mum's not in!
gosh, had better phone home...

well, you see... mal is a teenage auntie who
worry about the laundry getting soaked
in the rain! haha XD
aye aye, but i still love her!
& when holidays come again, mum's gonna
nag at me to do housework. pfft.



God of my forever
& forever i will sing
my greatest honour
will always be
to serve my
Lord & King


daddy God, i want to make You the focus
of my life. and not focus on life itself.
daddy, i want to be more devoted to You.
please help me. nothing happens without
Your divine permission, so lead me daddy.
i'll seek You first in everything & be obedient.
use me o'God. i lift my worries unto You &
have faith that it'd all be gone.
i love you daddy God.
concentrating on God, is of more value than
personal holiness.


unraveled @ 11:42 PM


Thursday, August 23, 2007

♥ FILL MY LIFE WITH YOUR PRESENCE;




hello (: i ought to go to bed.
then again, no harm blogging a few lines yeah?
haha. totally not.

anyhow, i missed my bus-stop while on the way
home today. overslept, & i woke up just right
after it drove away from my stop.
boohoo, thank god i was still able to change bus
from the next stop, only thing was, i had to
cross the overhead bridge. not good, cause i was
experiencing difficulties in breathing today again.
i wished it would go away, but not so lucky yeah?

sat down, on the study benches, outside the lecture
theatres today with eldora & sai gin.
& eldora & i slept with the mama cat in sch lying
on both our shoe bags while sai gin was doing work.
hah, i just thought it looked kinda cute, cause the
mama cat's position was the same as ours.
i wished we had dogs though XP

prayer meet was awesome. i felt much back at
home, being able to serve, praise & worship
and pray in church, the feeling was just good.
cause i know i must have felt God that night,
it has got to be Him. if not for being on duty,
i would have cried right there. cause His love for
me is great, more than i can ever imagine,
i'm so thankful :D

daddy God, i still need a breakthrough & to be
more on fire for You. cause my life is stagnant
right now, & i need You to ignite that fire again.
cause i know You love me too much for me to
remain the same. i want You more in my life.

thank you daddy God, the wait was over.
prayers do come true, & i'd be praying for
more chances ((:


unraveled @ 12:27 AM


Tuesday, August 21, 2007

♥ GLORY TO THE KING;



(click to enlarge)

today (monday), i missed a step, slipped,
foot slided down one step & i nearly fall.
all cause i was burying myself in geog notes.
heavy day tmr. half hour break only, school
till 4.10pm. wth. we should have better time
tables.

daddy God, i need a breakthrough.

You, You are the God who will save.


unraveled @ 12:27 AM


Sunday, August 19, 2007

♥ BREAKING FREE;


we're breaking free.
we're soaring, flying.
there's not a star in heaven
that we cant reach.







& so i cramped my brain with geography today,
drank my favourite mocha ice blended, from one
of my favourite cafes (coffeebean), met a cool mum,
drank tea, got pretty high on caffeine & sugar,
laughed at ppl, laughed at mal, laughed at myself,
got shocked by shaun, cam-whored & smiled to
myself the whole way home.
not to forget, i bought a pink baby minnie face
towel from kinokuniya just to satisfy my shopping
needs. am i a bimbo or what? pretty obvious, aint it?

to prove that mallory's a bimbo too,

me: my mum's cool cause she flew her car over
the bridge, landed in a river & was knocked out.

mal: & she survived?!

me: *stares at mal* like duh! you even went out
with her. what the piang? mal, you bim!

well you see, birds of a feather flock together.


imran said i look like a lil' girl here.


what gwen will look like with short hair.

wokay, fireworks picture another day yeah.
i really got to run, cause i like told daddy
goodnight say, 20-25 minutes ago? toodles :DD


unraveled @ 11:34 PM


Thursday, August 16, 2007

♥ YELLOW PILL;




practically dazed through the whole of today.
drifted in & out of sleep, felt as if there were
a hundred kilos of weights on me, was so weak
i swayed from side to side. all thanks to?
that tiny lil' yellow pill for my 'runny nose' -.-

waited for a3 peeps at far east from 5plus till
7plus with nigel. ack! so loooong luh! but, it was
worth it (: i miss them, holey moley & i cant
wait for the next meet-up alr. not many came
today. all of 'em from MI, i was the only
prominent one in yj's uniform. hah. makes me
think back on the good old MI pae days again XD

the ghost of you keeps returning to haunt me.
honestly, you scare me. i don't know what it is,
that makes you seem like a monster to me.
perhaps it was all those past memories, maybe
it was the way you treated me. but every time i
thought life was well, you'd return to terrify me.
turns out, I've subconsciously developed a
phobia against you.


though oceans roar and mountains quake,
and enemies deride,
we do not have to be afraid -
the Lord is by our side.


unraveled @ 11:34 PM


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

♥ GOD OF MY FOREVER;





she look NAKED.



i am absolutely tired & once again, sick.
damn. what adds on to it, is that i've been
feeling pretty breathless all day. started since
morning. weird huh? indonesia's not on fire
again, is it? take a day off from sch tmr?
i did all i shouldnt today. drank cold drinks,
took chili, ate brownie, did pe & drank
carbonated drink. tsk tsk tsk.

i meet weird uncles all over. pfft.
anyhow, thanks estelle for blessing me with
dinner (:

i cant freaking breath properly again. -whines.
i hate this.
goodnight ):

"I am the Lord who heals you" - exodus 15:26

sometimes it's hard to trust the Lord
when we don't understand;
but fight the urge to run from Him -
reach out and take His hand.


unraveled @ 11:53 PM


Sunday, August 12, 2007

♥ W260 <33


after a very very very long while...


most are present.

fellowshipping is what i crave the most with W260.
it has been a gazillion years ago since we had so many
turning up for dinner & fellowship. i hope it'll go on.
i'm gonna miss jincheng. come back soon again hokay!
I LOVE w260!!! :DD


some of the august babies (:
from left:
jincheng, darren, yieling & kenny.


HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, SINGAPORE!


while camping outside marina square (:

we're two loners. lol. nigel's girlfriend, stephanie,
has got tickets for NDP. & so was mal invited to
the parade with kelwin. so yeah, it was just left
with the two of us... BUT we still had fun! ((:


blankie besties!

i accidentally squirted soap into my left eye
just now. & it was terrible! hurt like hell ):
kept washing it, but it's still painful. owww.
my poor eye. i'm starting to have a phobia of
body soap. boo-hoo. left eye's reeeeddddddd.

i am sick again! slightly feverish.
nose is running like a tap, & throat's itching
badly. sneezing all day long. madness. pfft.
i'm off to bed.

GOD OF MY FOREVER.


unraveled @ 3:54 AM


Wednesday, August 08, 2007

♥ MIGHTY MIGHTY RODNEY!



ashley & me;
with my mainland china girl hair XD

they said it wouldnt fit into the pic...



house champion, RODNEY!




GO EAGLES!


4X100m Rodney team B (:


you've got it, you kiss it!


relay trophy (: 3rd.

hah. due to injuries, i actually gave a pass
for a few events. thank God i dint give up on
the 4X100m relay. 3rd! great job Rodney! ((:
& so Rodney won the house cup. 2 years straight
for now (: awesomeness. i think the sports meet
kinda brought the school together today. & i
actually love the yj family. but, i'm not so sure
if that unity & spirit would still be present when
we return back to school. will it?

met up with nigel first, then mal after sports
meet. i was enjoying walking around in town
with the mainland china hair today till i had to
take it down cause blah blah blah... hah. am
lazy to go on. my wrist's hurting real bad, so
i'm gonna have to stop here tonight. my bad.

AWESOME RODNEY :D


unraveled @ 11:38 PM


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

♥ SHAKEN;



& so i took a picture of myself today.
hello ((:

i'm shaken by what happened in class today.
totally unexpected, & caught me off my feet.
the whole scene keeps replaying in my mind,
like tape on replay. it scares me...
my dearest classmate had a fits attack in math
class today, as we were about to have our class
test. it was so sudden. it caught all of us off-guard.
most of us were just rooted to our seats, minds
totally blank. i mean, how many of us actually
had experienced this kinda scenario before?
let alone know what to do. it took awhile before
some of us got our senses back. i badly wanted to
help, thing is, i dint know what i could do.
thus, the least i could have helped with was to
help her lie on the floor from her chair.
she had changed colour already & had some foam
coming out. by then, i was too shocked. i myself,
was shivering... i'm sorry i wasnt of much help.

thank God she was alright. her mum came to get
her. rest well yeah (:
some of us were on the verge of crying, you know
that kinda feeling you get when you're of no help
& your friend is suffering? yeah. that suck.

nothing beats hearing what this particular classmate
commented when the other one had the fits...
remember i said we were about to have math test?
yeah, let's call this particular classmate who made a
nasty comment cruella. hoho, all cruella commented,
talking to herself, was "math test is screwed."
i can never comprehend how can anyone be as
heartless as you. & you are as ugly as you look.
even as the class was making it so obvious that we're
talking about her heartlessness during civics tutor
period, she remained nonchalant, smiling & laughing
away. to the point where one of my classmate asked
her what does she think of someone who is
inconsiderate towards others, she had the cheek to
reply, "cruel". yeah, you got it, you're downright
cruel. what goes around comes around.
remember what you said today. you're an outrage.

Daddy God, bring peace & calmness to me.


unraveled @ 12:04 AM


Sunday, August 05, 2007

♥ CLOUD NINE;





& i miss my red phone )):


told you i'm wilful XP

& so i dint go for FOP today. part of me really
wished that i was there now. it might have just
ended now, & i'd be happily waiting for the crowd
to leave so that i can clear my zone. bahhh.
*snaps back to reality* here i am in front of my
computer. hah. i'm still on cloud nine since ytd.
eyecandy never fails to make me start grinning
from ear to ear. lol. though we've never talked.
pfft. & of course delirious? aaah, their front man,
martin :DD see that glimmer in my eyes? oh yeah.

yet another monday tmr. which means to say,
gwen's got school. pfft. i hate it, but school's gonna
make me miss three, not one but THREE, church
services for the next three saturdays consecutively.
why so? cause i've earned myself detentions. i should
only have one or maybe two? i guess my ct was so
lazy that he dint mention bout detention to eldora &
i till it accumulated to three & we were issued letters )):
-cries. which means, for three saturdays, besides having
to be in school every sat from 9am-2pm, i've now
got to be in school from 9am-5pm! 9am-2pm SSP,
2pm-5pm detention. URGH. DAMNIT.
-sulks. & that'd be my first time in detention.

it somehow seems that i've lost the habit of
cam-whoring. seeing how i've been re-using past pictures.
gees, how can that be! oh no, just you wait, i'd get that
cam-whore spirit back XP

total randomness, toodles :DD


unraveled @ 10:29 PM



♥ FESTIVAL OF PRAISE;



i miss my long hair )):

nearly got killed twice today man.
& this is why parents always nag at you to
concentrate while you cross roads. tsk tsk.
yeah, i crossed without looking. first, i nearly
got knocked down by a motor bike, thank God
i turned around in time & back tracked.
the second time was after FOP, while trying to
cross this small road, i nearly got hit by a bus
also cause i wasnt paying attention. pfft.
i've gottta keep that in mind. losing my life like
that aint worth it at all. & praise the Lord!
He saved me. twice. ((:

FOP was awesome again, today! usher-ing was
great, but tiring. stood all the way. my feet are
aching... & now, they deserve a good rest. two
nights aye. i doubt i'd be serving tmr. i need a
much-needed rest & to attend to that piling
homework of mine. yeah, uh huh.
AAAH! almost forgot. i got to meet Delirious?
(well known international christian band) by chance
when i was about to leave the indoor stadium ytd!!!
their lead singer's eversocute ((: & he said HI.
ohmygoshi'mflabbergasted :DD


when gaya invades my privacy.

those were the MI days... could someone bring it
back, pretty pretty please? i miss a3 & the entire
pae cohort. i miss that grandstand, which a3 calls
it as GWENstand instead (: i miss breaks with a3.
i miss badminton-ing with a3, i miss mass pe!
i miss lessons with all of 'em. they're a bunch of
really really great peeps & i'll never ever forget.
meet up at the end of the year alright, a3? ((:
i guess, i'm just a wilful kid who refuses to snap
outta my phantom of reminiscing the MI days.


zai; my gumgum (:


hans; my "angmoh" barker boy.


my fellow fake ijians (cept for maira)

crash next year yeah?

i need to hibernate.


unraveled @ 2:06 AM


Thursday, August 02, 2007

♥ RETAIL THERAPY; ALWAYS WORK.




i'd to be about the slowest person on earth.
had only just caught order of the phoenix today,
with malwowie (: it was awesome, though lacked
in content. however, it's expected yeah. i've learnt
how to watch it for the effects, instead of story.
afterall, i've got all the books, so content, anytime.
i especially love the humour in this movie. & now i
simply cant wait for the dvd. i wonder what else
would be installed for it. definitely worth the wait.

i love potter so much, it's sad that the series has
ended. well, maybe you could start with an albus
severus potter series? hah. it's like, i grew up with
it. somehow, in a way. i cried when dobby died,
when sirius died, fred died... urgh. it's just tragic.
harry potter... how i wished it would just go on
forever. what's left for me are the books & movies...


*snaps outta emo state* 'aight. did some shopping
today. spent quite an amount, & now my heart bleeds.
lol. okay, maybe not that serious. i loveeeee shopping!
moreover, i was jubilant to be meeting nigel & mal today.
after a pretty long while. i love the crazy us. the true us,
when we're together. it's just nice to be able to relax aye (:

hoho, tmr marks the start of FOP!!!
FESTIVAL OF PRAISE.
hah, it'd be my first time serving for FOP.
awesome aye? i cant wait. thing is... i still have no idea
how to get to the s'pore indoor stadium from kallang
mrt. pfft. someone tell me, please? :DD

wokay, scurrying off to finish up deathly hallows.
slowest snail on earth yeah? well, blame school! XP


unraveled @ 11:21 PM