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love is a riddle.
untold story

G; Lips that taste of tears,
they say, are the best for kissing.

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credits

orangeeeeyy Missyan

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Wednesday, September 27, 2006

♥ DREAMT A LIL' DREAM OF YOU.


URGH! blogger giving me problems again.
i had wanted to upload five, five darn pictures
but our dear blogger refuses to budge. so yeah,
i settled for one, and even so it created yet more
problems. sheesh. blogger.
anyway, had wanted to blog asap, and den hop
into my bed. i've been having inadequate sleep
again... bahh.

school was pretty much a bore today.
had almost seven free periods and i spent all my
time doing, guess what? math papers. urgh.
well, at the very least, i am pushing myself to study.
soooo, that's like a good sign aye? right, coolness.

everyday, after being woken up by my dad for school,
my mind would unknowingly try to recall what i've
dreamt about the previous night.
this morning, when i got up, i dint give it much thought.
but as he strode past this morning, scenes of my dream
slowly pieced itself in my brain. now, you may have already
allowed your imaginations to run wild, but rest assured,
it's not a boy-girl relationship i am talking about here.
it's like a platonic love relationship. yeaps, he's a brother
to me. get that smacked into your brains now.
basically, i dreamt of us reconciling. and you bet that
my eyes prickled with tears that threatened to flow
if i dint hold it back as i watched his back while he slowly
sauntered towards the foyer, sooner, i could only make
out his silhouette. i miss him, i really do. we were like,
confidantes. maybe i wasnt to him, but he was by far my closest
guy friend and i took him as a real brother and wanted
to do my best in protecting or rather be there for him
when he needs. well, tables are turned now, trust betrayed.
talk about karma yeah? but what did i do to him?
i was too naive to have fully trusted and depended on him
perhaps, that i am getting bitten badly by him now.
he doesnt even give a damn i suppose. you might ask
why dint i like retaliate or defended myself with whatever
he's done to me. fact is, i had. i had defended and stood up
for myself, and i stupidly thought it was just a small
matter at first, till his rebutts came. little did i know that
with defending myself, i am instead getting myself more
hurt by him. his rebutts and allegations caught me
dumbfounded, to the point that, i've found that by keeping
mum, it would be a better choice to protect myself now.
i believe we'd both want to concentrate on our Os now.
but i just cant help feeling down about it. sure, i try to
stuff it away, into a lil' corner of my mind, however, that'd
be times whereby those memories of him sinks back into
my conscious mind. love, yes i still love him. he's been a
great brother to me, and losing a friend who's even closer
to me than my real blood-related brother is, is not
exactly a very easy thing to get over with.
fact is, i dont wanna get over it. i want to salvage it.
but, i see him giving no chance of salvation for that
wonderful relationship we shared. perhaps i should just
give up, a brother like this' not worthed? he is worthed it,
i'm telling you, he is. only, i am too frazzled already.
O God, please tell me what to do?
i miss that ck boy.



unraveled @ 10:59 PM